The Telling of my Israel Journey

Gentle Reader (sorry Mr. King), this story is a long time coming. And it will take a long time to read and record. The journey occurred from May 18 through May 28, 2008. All my thoughts and explanations of the trip are long handwritten (much of it written while on the bus traveling around Eretz Yisrael), but now I'm typing it, and I'll post excerpts. Hopefully some of the more interesting parts (if there are any that I recorded).

So here's the start:

Rachel and I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches momma made. They were yummy. Mine was on challah that I made for shabbos.
We keep telling each other, “we’re going to Israel!” So exciting.
The El Al people arrived, so masses of people got in line to check-in. The line wormed (It was not one of those curlique [sic] snakes) [haha. I spelled “curlicue” with an actual “Q.”] around the corner. We waited for maybe an hour. When we reached the front of the line, there were five El Al agents waiting for us. They were the interviewing crew. “Do you celebrate the holidays?” the mediumly tall, somewhat scrawny man asked. [Ah. I don’t think I mention, but I may, so we’ll see, but anyway, while we were in the back of the “worm,” a few kids, including three or four from our group were pulled from the line, and taken behind a set of cubicles. Then they put up curtains to hide whatever was going on. At some point one of them mentioned what went on back there, but seeing them taken kind of freaked us out. Especially when they put the curtain up. That was very disconcerting.]
“Yes” [I answered the scrawny man].
“What was the last you celebrated?”
“Pesach.”
“How did you celebrate?”
“My brother – he’s a rabbinical student – led the seder – it was –“ [This answer compared to my previous shows how unsure I was. I couldn’t figure out if it was better to give short, concise answers or give extended ones. So at that point I had tried both. Plus when I get nervous, I tend to keep talking and talking; that might have had something to do with my longer answer.]
He interrupted with another question. I was literally peppered with questions.
“Do you speak any Hebrew?”
“A little bit.” I motioned with my hand, thumb close to index finger, indicating little.
(Whoops. The first question was not regarding the holidays. “Why are you visiting Israel?” I said, “um, er- historical, learning trip.” [Being the first question, I was quite nervous and unsure of what to say.])
“Where did you learn Hebrew?”
“Hebrew School. At my synag –“
“Where?”
“Congregation Beth Shalom. My synagogue.” [Now I was able to finish the word synagogue.]
“Do you remember who the rabbi was?”

I think that finally ended my interrogation. (I swear no better word exists. That's what the El Al agents do - even to college-aged Jews.)

More to come.

Israel May 2008

Happy New Year, Gentle Reader! (Sorry Stephen King - I always apologize to Mr. King when I reference his consistent mentions of his "Constant Reader.")

When I went to Israel last May, I took along a small, leather-bound journal and filled up about two thirds of it with fairly detailed accounts of each day. I started typing it up a few days after arriving back in the States, but I never came close to finishing.

I think as I type up sections, I'll post them here - in small pieces (it's long, remember?)

But it should be more interesting than anything else I could write about here. Other than the fact that Israel invaded Hamas' territory to finally end the ceaseless rocket attacks on Israeli citizenry. Hopefully something good comes out of this.

But anyway, if I ever have time to type up the journal, I think you'll start seeing some highlights here.

True Love

Now I have figured out what those folks mean about the ripple effect with marriage. I'm afraid to note that next people will be marrying instruments - that's right. Instruments.

Because I'll be honest. I've never loved a non-family member as much as I love my C trumpet.

Scary, isn't it? Look what happened - that horrible domino effect of Massachusetts allowing gay marriage led to, well virtually every state, passing amendments, er, banning gay marriage, which then made me want to marry my C trumpet.

Well, so maybe it's not quite the ripple effect they were talking about. But I sure do love my C trumpet.

So I had a dream one night that I met my bashert (I can explain more about that another time), but then I woke up. I didn't get to see her - our eyes met for a moment - a wonderful moment - and she just started to walk across the busy room, and once the crowd cleared to let her through, she disappeared. I was awake. In my room. No bashert.

But if you find her wandering around somewhere, feel free to let me know. I'm sure I'll find her eventually.

(Bashert basically means soulmate, by the way.)

I'm running for President in 2012 - just kidding.

That's right. I'm only kidding. I'm not running in 2012.

I'm not eligible until 2024.

So I'm running 2024. How I figure it, that should be the best time for me to run anyway. I feel that I can bring the change America will need in 2024.

See, President-Elect Obama is bringing change in 2009. Then people are going to love that change so much, the American people will re-elect him in 2012. In 2016, people will be tired of Democrats in the White House - because the last time one party held the White House for three consecutive terms was in the Great Depression under the Official Republican Whipping Boy: President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. So that means a Republican in 2016. People will give that president the benefit of the doubt (by the way, the next Republican president is - and I'm calling this now in all of my professional political analysis opinion - hey, if Sean Hannity can be called an analyst, why can't I? He doesn't have any more reason to analyze than I do - but anyway the next Republican president - well I'm not going to tell you. You're not ready to hear it. But I will give you a hint: he's a young man, who isn't yet age-eligible, and he's not from the south. Yes ladies, he.) and re-elect him in 2020. But then in 2024, they won't want another Republican and that's why the Democrats will win.

But why will I win the primary battle in 2024? Well it won't be an easy road. And I don't want it to be. My election campaign - if the current, ever-expanding length of the elections continue - will probably begin in 2016. But it will be worth it. I'll travel to all 57 states, campaigning as completely as I can. I'll mobilize huge masses of people to get my message of a new, smaller, smarter, cleverer government and - of course - lower taxes. I'll make taxes so low that revenue goes exponentially higher due to the rapid economic explosion. How's .1% sound to you guys? But back to the primary: Some old governor from Virginia will be the front-runner, but I'll hit him hard (but politely and gently - but hard, nonetheless) and win. It will be the biggest upset since Stanford beat USC at USC back in 2007.

Anyway, don't forget to vote in the runoff on December 2nd for Sara Doyle and a guy who served America in Vietnam and then Georgians in the State House in the 90s, Jim Martin.

And don't forget me in 2024.

Weintraub for America


(It should be noted that I'm in no way serious about any of this - except the line about the runoff.)




-Edit:
I apologize for historical falsitude: I completely forgot about the presidential elections in the eighties: President Reagan won reelection in 1984 and then President George HW Bush won in 1988, so that means the Republicans held the White House for three consecutive terms, but as I pointed out, that is not the norm. That was the first time since the Great Depression. And, it should be noted, the Republican hold was twenty years ago. President Clinton won decisively in 1992.


I'm running for President in 2012- just kidding by Samuel Weintraub is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at musingsandmore613.blogspot.com.

Now's the Time

It's been done. The history has been written. The campaign is over.

The Republicans have long been known as better campaigners than Democrats, while the Democrats govern better. But let's see if that pattern continues.

Now is the time for governing. Now is the time for President-Elect Barack Obama to work with the lame duck President and Congress to start his own Deal. We can't afford for Mr. Obama to do what President Franklin Roosevelt did - only Senator McCain will remember - wink wink - but when President Roosevelt was elected, he refused to assist outgoing President Herbert Hoover in governing in the transition. The Democratic icon didn't want to share credit - the country cannot afford that. As President Truman wisely said, "It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." (Seriously, President Truman said it long before President Reagan; I just looked it up. It's not exactly an uncommonly quoted, er, quote.)

Let's not care about credit. Let's get some things done.

An Apology

After Mr. Henson died, my post contained brief profanity. Now, for the most part, except in certain situations, I find profanity tasteless and superfluous. I don't think it was superfluous, but it did accurately reflect my frustration and anger at losing Mr. Henson.

To anyone that's read the post, please do not be upset by the intensity of the diction in that post.

Thank you.

Governor Palin's Fool-Proof Sex Education Plan?

I am quite certain it's been written in scores of other places, but after hearing about Senator McCain's pick of Governor Palin as his vice presidential candidate, my sister learned about the Alaska Governor's pregnant daughter. Then she noticed the Governor's "abstinence-only sex education" plan. It sure worked great for her family!